Gutted

Part of me really wants to take next semester off and just work. I just feel so defeated at the moment and don't know what to do with myself. What's the point of putting the work in if i'm just going to be disregarded? I feel less than worthless.

I'll be back for next semester though. I need to get through it all.

The rest of my semester has been ruined. Probably my vacation because these are the feelings that really linger in me. Once i'm down, i have a hard time getting back up again. I have some masochistic tendencies that come out when i'm feeling particularly low, and then when i ignore them i feel guilty.

I hope that the winter semester will perk me up. And if not, then i'll have to deal with this.

Perhaps i'll go for a jog later tonight. I have a bit of a cold but maybe the exercise will help me.

Until then, i'll listen to some donovan and do some reading.

Happiness runs.