To do for tomorrow

Things i must do on friday:

• see my dentist
• get my eyebrows done....finally
• get my hair cut/coloured
• go to vs and urban
• get a hundred or so pages done of reading.

Oh my....

I'm feeling so down from the play i saw tonight. The trip down was fun, but once the show started, i was quickly bummed out.

The play was about street youth, particularly about a few late teen/20 somethings from the middle place from downtown toronto.

The play was very well made. There were laugh's for sure. But there were definitely some low points. One of the saddest was right after the play when the actors held a question period with the audience. A group of girls in the audience were from a shelter downtown and very emotionally explained that they loved the play and that it truly touched them. It was quite the moment. Unfortunately, it has me feeling rather low. I don't think i've ever been kicked out of a holiday spirit so hard as this night has done to me. With halloween approaching, i've never felt less excited. If i go out, i may just throw something together. Perhaps i'll be a nerd? i just need to button up a shirt and tuck it into my pants, then dawn a taped pair of glasses.

Halloween is a frivolous time (one of the reasons i usually love it) and now i feel stupid for previously being excited. The play is based off of transcripts from the youth shelter. They were completely true, down to the last word. And it has me feeling like an asshole.

http://passemuraille.on.ca/shows/2010-2011-season/middle-place/

Go see this.

Plan for tomorrow

Very important thing that i must get done on monday.

1. get my eyebrows done. they're terrifying.
2. do my assignment for tuesday. its going to kill me a whole lot.
3. get 100 pages of reading done. preferably on Blacklist.
4. if it isn't raining, then i will jog.

It's Unofficial

I admit it.

Halloween is my favorite holiday.

Absolute favorite.

I've been excited for it since August.

But, why is it my favorite? I feel like i need to explain.

It's just happy.

All my childhood memories about it are great.

Halloween was always just bright colours, make believe, candy, and running around in the middle of the night.

And now it's bright colours, sexy make believe, candy, alcohol, and running around in the middle of the night.

What's not to love?

Christmas is up there, but it gets so expensive. Also, any sort of religious holiday is kinda sad because not everyone's involved. But when it comes to halloween, no one's left out! it's the best.

A Do Or Don't?

I bought a pair of MAC false eyelashes to wear on halloween and any other costumie occasions coming my way (new years?).

But i keep thinking about this one scene from the Georgia Nicolson series that i used to read as a young teenager. Do you know the moment i'm speaking of?

In case we're not on the same page, i'll refresh your memory or perhaps just fill you in.

Georgia would always wear false eyelashes when going out partying. She's a bit of a tart, and she loves her eyelashes.

But on one occasion when out at a bar, one of her eyes got stuck shut because she didn't place the glue on the lashes properly. Unfortunately for her, this happened when talking to a guy she liked. I can't remember what happened after that, but she probably pretended to wink or dance away or something equally awkward.

I keep imagining this happening to me. But then again, i'm not some tarty, 15 year old british girl.

Stressing

Once again, i seem to be losing weight for no apparent reason.

What the hell is going on with me?

Since the beginning of september, i've lost roughly 5 pounds.

Before september, i was very physically active because of work. As well, i was eating healthy foods. Since then, i've been living a much more sedentary lifestyle because of school, and eating only shitty foods, as well as drinking much more than i did during the summer.

Should this not equate weight gain?

Perhaps i'm going to have another growth spurt? I think that's why i lost so much weight last year...

I think i'm going to buy a scale for my guelph house. I want to keep an eye on this.

Hate this day

Such a frustrating weekend.

• Spent yesterday reading the first novel for my tuesday class.
• Read the second novel this morning.
• Am now writing a paper for a separate class.
• Just got off the phone. Had a fight with the secretary of my dentist because should didn't want to book me on the one day i will be in toronto. I got the appointment in the end.
• Know i should go for a run tonight but don't know if i have the time or energy. So aggravating.
• Need to legitimately study my notes for my midterm tomorrow.
• Want to shower right this moment but because i may jog later, i can't.
• Am dying of boredom.
• Am about to check my online banking. So scared.
• Damn, now i'm hungry.

Such a fail

I was too intimidated to go jogging this morning. Such a fail.

So, the new plan?

I'm going to try on Sunday. Why? Because there will be no students heading to an early class and few people work sunday.

The fewer people who see me run like an idiot, the better.

Anxiety!

Tomorrow i plan to make myself jog first thing in the morning. I'm having so much anxiety over this.

I like to jog, but i always use the treadmill at home. Problem is, i live away from home now and need to stay in shape.

So why the anxiety? Because if i jog outside, people can see me!

So stupid, right?

But i have so many fears about this. Like, jogging with my ipod....will i look stupid carrying it?

And like, do i look crazy when i run? Do i make a face? Do i mouth my music as i run? Do i get a sweaty bum?

SO MANY QUESTIONS!

I'm only going to do a short run tomorrow, just to get a feel for what it's like running outside. Nothing more than a half hour.

Man, i'm so nervous. why am i feeling so self conscious?!

This is craziness.

Planning my day

Tomorrow!

1. Jog
2. Get Groceries
3. Deal with bills at the bank
4. Study for my upcoming midterm
5. Clean/organize my room
6. Go to the mall to look for stamps and such

I just know i'm forgetting something.....I'm going to go crazy until i remember what it is!

Midterms

I really should be studying right now, but of course, that means i'm not studying.

It's too depressing.

My first midterm is for my historical literature class and it's just terrible. I can only read so much on the different types of concentration camps.

I get it. Everyone get f'd in the a. it sucked a whole lot for everyone. It still sucks for some people.

But i can't deal anymore.

For one, some of it is just too gory for me.

And didn't high school cover all of this?

This is just like the time i had to take that course on HIV and AIDS.

I can't read this stuff without being depressed for days.

This is a bad comparison, but it makes me feel the way i do after watching titanic.

That movie kills me a bit.

And so do these books.

But i must say, the course on AIDS was much worse.

Dammit, now i want to watch Philadelphia.

It's going to take Family Guy to cheer me up:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lb497jSCyaI

HELLOOOOO POLAND

Obvi, Sienna

She's just so adorable!

Love her.

And her bow pattern shirt.

If i make blondie bars and bring them up to guelph, would you guys want them? I obvs can't eat them all.....i guess we could just give the leftovers to everyone visiting the halfway...

Scavaging

About to go shopping with my sister.

I think i want a very red lipstick.

MAC then? Although i've heard YSl has some nice red hue's...hmmm

Also, i'm determined to get a pair of high waisted jeans. They're a must. Last time, they were out of the size i wanted. hopefully, todays my day!

Also, boots. This must not be a fail!

EDIT:

Fuck it. I'm getting the god damn engin frye boot if it's in my size. Yeah, it's a bit more than i wanted to spend, but everything else looks like shit on me.

God dammit.

I'm going to hunt it down tomorrow.

Seriously, this is ridiculous.

White Dress

Normally, I'm not a Lauren Conrad fan.

But this dress...

I love this dress! There's just something about lace that gets me.

Three Reasons Why Matt Damon's On My List

I feel like i need to explain why Matt Damon bumped off Russel Brand.

But why say, when i can show?

THE THREE REASONS

One: Fucking Matt Damon

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLG3S5WzHig

Two: Maaat Daaamon

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnPWJOJYVKc&NR=1

Three: Carol's the man

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GocyzyccgUc&feature=related

Strange

Recently, it's been like time has been catching up with everyone. Health issues have been arising, big choices are on the horizon or are currently being made, and suddenly it seems like university life is moving more quickly. What once felt, for lack of a better word, stagnant, now seems to have almost flashed by without notice.

But, i'm home for the weekend. Why is this worth noting? Because home never seems to change.

When i got home, i did what i always do; snuggle my dog, Lucy. This time i saw something i hadn't before. She now has grey whiskers speckling her muzzle and around her eyes.

I'm not too sure how i feel about this.

Sad isn't the right word. And to be afraid is foolish. One shouldn't feel sad or scared by the passing of time. One should feel lucky that they're still around to feel and see this time pass. Life is a gift, right? But these changes aren't exactly happy. And change is not always promising.

So how should i feel?

Sexy Beast: Matt Damon